marcellinafuriosa | I fear my stupidity will only cease with my breath.

I thought this was a real thing. (It isn't; it's part of a book of "imaginary letters from real people.") Of course, I also failed to realize this was satire the first time I read it (the author put the warning on later) and I was like, "Yay! Someone finally gets it!"

Poll #6138 Literary Questions

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 2

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The most important thing, for me, when I read a novel is:

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Plot.
0 (0.0%)

Well-drawn characters.
1 (50.0%)

Style.
1 (50.0%)

Dialogue.
0 (0.0%)

Ideas.
0 (0.0%)

Novels are a tool the elites use to snare our minds.
0 (0.0%)

A kunstlerroman without a Chatterton figure is like:

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Vanilla ice cream without hot fudge.
0 (0.0%)

A trip to the dentist without any new cavities.
0 (0.0%)

A commute without any traffic delays due to rubbernecking around horrible accidents.
1 (50.0%)

A hot day without a breeze.
0 (0.0%)

I don't know what those are. (I can use the Internet to read your blog, but somehow cannot use it to look up the definitions of words.)
1 (50.0%)

How many characters are you allowed to kill off in your first novel (assuming it's not about a famine, a plague, a war, a serial killer, a zombie attack, etc)?

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Third person omniscient is:

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The bestest!
2 (100.0%)

The Devil.
1 (50.0%)

I wish you'd stop making up polls and make up an actual story. Who cares if you'll never be as good as Wharton?
0 (0.0%)